The Buddha Bowl

I'm playing in the Buddha Bowl.
It's Buddha's team
against Mr. Big's team.
Buddha's strategy
is to lose.
Mr. Big's strategy
is to make
as many numbers
as his team
can possibly make.
Miley Cyrus
is on Mr. Big's team
and has a score
of well over
a hundred million.
Miley is a sexpot
and sexpots
make extremely good players
for Mr. Big's team.
I am a bad player
for Buddha's side,
because I have
a secret desire
to win some numbers,
because I don't want
to lose my shirt,
like Buddha wants us to.
So, I have a score
of about two thousand.
I hope I don't lose
my two thousand,
and I even secretly
want a million.
The Buddha bowl
has gone on throughout history
and Mr. Big
always wins
and Buddha always loses.
Rah team...

Me And Television

When I was young,
there was an article
in the TV Guide
which asked us readers
if we had to choose,
would we give up TV
for a million dollars?
and I pondered this
at the time,
because I was so addicted
to the television,
that I wasn't sure
that I would give it up
for a million dollars,
even though
I really wanted
a million dollars,
so as I grew older
the TV began
to bother me
more and more,
and even began
to make me sick
and crazy,
but I still
couldn't give it up,
and so,
finally,
when I got to be
about sixty years old,
I had enough of it,
and I disconnected
the cable,
and turned it off
for good,
and it was the best thing
that I had done
for a long time,
and I don't regret it,
but, you know,
every once in a while,
I still get
a little craving
for the old
talking box.

Image Is Everything And Smiling Faces

There was a commercial with a tennis player/ who was saying/ that image is everything/ but we all knew/ that he was wrong/ that image isn't everything/ that there is always/ something deeper in everything/ that isn't present in the image/ and there was a song/ called smiling faces/ where they sang/ that smiling faces/ can come from someone/ who actually is trying to stab you in the back/ but we also knew/ that smiling faces/ are often from someone/ wonderful/ who actually is smiling at us/ because they like us/ and are not going to stab us in the back/ so what is needed is understanding/ and sometimes/ that is difficult/ to get

The Obvious

I often say the obvious/ and people say/ "Duh" or "Mundane..."/ but I say the obvious for a reason/ and that is/ that a lot of people/ miss the obvious/ and they say things that are complicated and difficult, instead of simple/ but the simple and obvious things are the closest things to the truth/ I think/ and if I were asked the question, "Who are you?"/ I probably would say, "Me"/ even though I could write a thousand books on the subject/ the books all would boil down to the word, "Me"/ so case dismissed/ not guilty

Restart In Art

I have been doing art/ since I was about four/ and awhile ago/ I decided to try/ a return to the styles/ that I used/ as a kid/ so this writing style/ was the way I wrote/ back when I/ was about fourteen/ before things/ got piled higher and deeper/ and I painted some paintings like I did/ when I was about sixteen/ and I painted some others/ like I did/ when I was in kindergarten/ and I wrote music/ like I did/ in high school/ so now/ I am thinking of trying/ to make an art video/ like the one I made/ about forty five years ago

Psychiatric Drugs And Poetry

I have been taking psychiatric drugs since I was seventeen. For the last thirty years, I have been on a drug called Haldol. In 1995, I briefly switched doctors, because they wanted to try me on the more recent drug called Risperdal. I immediately had a breakdown and wound up in the hospital.
While there, I wrote a book called The Sink Of Main. It was written on Risperdal mind.
For a few years before that, I had been writing poetry on Haldol mind.
After I got out of the hospital, I went back to Haldol and wrote many books for many years on Haldol mind.
Here are three examples of my poetry from that time.

The Heart Of Lake Orion     (from I Met A Warrior In A Children's Park, my second book)

I am sitting on a stone
by a lake with a waterfall.

The lake is encircled with rocks.
The waterfall is humming.

I have a thought
that this is the heart

of Lake Orion. A sign
is by the road, south

of the town which says,
where Life Is A Vacation.


That poem was written on Haldol mind, in 1994


The next poem was written on Risperdal mind, while in the hospital in 1995

What Is Taste?

Taste is in
your mouth.

There is no
honey in my
you ad.

Because it
actually is

A you ad
bag to drink.

Your music
is good because

it strikes
me funny.


This last poem was written on Haldol mind, in 2009

What I Did Before This

Waking up at midnight
I drink morning coffee
and proceed to practice
sets of exercises
one after another
for no reason
except health
and wisdom.


I am not writing this to condemn the use of psychiatric drugs, but only to show that we have no real fixed self. One strange chemical in our body is enough to cause a change as drastic as this one. I am still taking Haldol, but a small dose.

How To Feel High On Drugs, Without Taking Drugs, Except Coffee

A way that I have found
to feel high on drugs,
is to wake up
too early,
because of some noise
or something,
like the dog
running around
or something,
and then
drink one cup
of coffee
and sit around
in a chair,
so then
you will probably feel
quite stoned
and it is
an excellent way,
so, insomnia
is actually
a pleasant experience,
and sleep deprivation
can be fun.

I'm Happy With My Small Penis

I'm happy with my small penis,
but it wasn't always that way,
so I have given up sex
with women,
and men
and dogs,
because they are
kind of hard
to get along with,
so I have married myself,
because I know
what turns me on,
and since
my penis doesn't work well
with women,
and men
and dogs,
I live happily alone,
so I know
many tantric sexual practices
that I can do
with myself,
so my sex life
is most wonderful, now,
but the only thing
that bothers me
about my small penis
is public pissing,
because occasionally
I get looks.

Balls

When I played baseball,
I struck out,
and when I chased girls,
I struck out, again,
so my balls
hang down,
and I don't have
much confidence,
but I'm working
on it,
so if I decide
to do a painting
of billiard balls,
I will go do it,
because I can create
at the drop
of a big hat,
and this is
a creation
of mine,
which was written
by the first mind,
who knows something,
but I am
a fool,
except for
this great wisdom mind.

August Garden

It is August
and it has been
cooler than usual,
and I have been
sitting on the patio,
by the garden,
usually with
a cup of coffee
or a half of a beer,
and the garden
is wild this year,
because no one
has been tending it,
so I decided
to let nature decide
on the way
of the garden,
so the lilies
were huge
in July,
but all gone now,
and on this morning,
I looked at
the very tall weeds,
who have taken over,
and they are
magnificent,
I think,
but I suppose
nobody else would.

A Musician's Physics

So, since all matter
is none other than energy,
a musician like me
would pick sound
as his energy,
so sound has characteristics
like frequency,
the high or the low,
and amplitude,
the loud or the soft,
and duration,
the long or the short,
and timbre,
the energy color,
so this wave
is what a sound is,
so any differences
in any of the characteristics
produces a different thing,
so that's probably
what the universe is,
a big note
which contains
all notes.

Zen Contemplation

Most Zen practitioners
wouldn't recommend it,
but I practice
Zen contemplation,
which is a practice
that I do,
sitting in a chair
or on a sofa,
where I remain
in the first stage
of Zen,
which is the stage
of thinking,
and I allow myself
to think of anything
that comes up,
but I try
not to get angry,
depressed or sad,
and try to practice
the power of positive thinking,
so, in my head,
there is music,
which I try to keep going
with the Great Dharani
of the Heart Sutra,
and since
I hear voices
arising in the mind,
my ego talks
to them,
in a kind of conversation,
so that is the main part
of my Buddhist practice,
and I do it
in order to change
my depressed chemistry
in the body/mind
into an uplifted chemistry.

The Good/Bad Pill

I have discovered
a new medicine
that acts
as a mood stabilizer
and an anti-depressant,
and it is called
the good/bad pill,
and it requires
no prescription
and no doctor,
so if you
are down and depressed,
just think
that this is a good/bad world
and you are a good/bad person
and everybody else
are good/bad people,
and I mean
good in the sense
of liking it,
and bad in the sense
of not liking it,
so if you think that,
your depression
will probably lift,
and your mood
will probably improve,
as I know
because I have been taking
the good/bad pill
for awhile now,
and I feel
much better.

Normal

The way
that most doctors,
hospitals, family
and friends
have tried to help
and heal
people with severe mental problems,
like schizophrenia and bi-polar,
is to try
to get such people
to be normal,
to follow the normal way,
but such people
are not normal
because they have
a fundamentally different kind
of chemistry
than what I would call
normal,
so it's the old
square peg
in a round hole thing,
so I think
that the only way
to help and heal
someone with these severe mental problems,
is to point out the way
that is their way,
no matter how eccentric
or strange,
but the problem then arises
that society
can't usually accept
someone who is that different,
so many of us
with these difficult problems
have to leave the world
in a sense,
much like a nun
would join a convent.

The Art Process

The art process
begins with a concept,
then the concept
is realized
and the realization
is documented,
then the documentation
is distributed
to a place
where it is displayed,
and the documentation
has a form
which expresses something
that acts
as an instrument
to bring about
a like
or a dislike
in the observer,
and then
the next step
may be
buying and selling,
and this process
applies to many other
aspects of life,
so cool.

Is It Good?

Zen has
all these ways
which it thinks
can help
to make life good
for people,
and they involve
a lot of tricky
brain tricks
that make people think
that everything's good
and that
they are in
Nirvana,
but I have found
after about
forty years
of studying Zen,
that when life is good,
indeed,
life is good,
but when life is bad,
life is just bad,
so, it's the same
as I always knew,
right from the beginning.

I Have A Disease

I have a disease
which is called
BDS
or Bad Day Syndrome,
and it is caused
by BM
or Bad Moods,
and I think
we all know
about this disease
and we probably
all have it,
and the only cure
is time,
but even that
doesn't work,
because once time cures
your bad mood,
and you are in
a good mood,
time turns it back
into a bad mood,
so drugs and medicines
can help,
but they are dangerous
and should be taken
with great caution,
and they don't work, really,
anyway,
so the ancient wise ways,
like yoga, Zen, and qigong
can help,
but they don't work,
because their effects
disappear
as soon as you stop
doing them,
with only a little curative power
that lasts,
so the new wise ways,
like tapping, bio-energetics, and reflexology
can help,
but they work
just like the ancient wise ways,
so time
is the only answer,
but that doesn't work
either.

What I Know About The Word Umm

I was getting ready
to film a video,
when I remembered
the last one
and how I had repeated
the word "Umm"
over and over,
and that
it bothered me,
so I thought
that I would try
not to say "Umm",
so I started filming
and talking spontaneously,
but as soon
as I felt like saying "Umm"
I stopped
and couldn't get started again,
because my head
went blank,
so I tried again
and the same thing happened,
so I laughed
and decided
that I had to say "Umm",
because it is
a necessary word
in my vocabulary.

Art

Art is something
that people spend
half of their lifetimes
studying,
and then realize
that it's too hard,
and give up,
and art is something
that little kids can do
as well as anybody,
and is something that anybody
can do,
and art is something
that you can do blindfolded,
which has probably
already been done,
so art is where
you give yourself
a pen
and a blank sheet
of paper
and do anything
with it,
so, it's very difficult.

Revelations of Kongsaeng

So, we know
that it is possible
that we on Earth
could have
an enormous catastrophe
like what happened
to the dinosaurs,
so in the Bible
there's this book
that says
that it will happen,
so, this has bugged me
for a long time
until I came up
with a reasonable answer
about it
for myself,
so here goes -
The Universe
has a plan
to develop
Pure Lands
or Heavens
out of the planets,
but the problem here,
as we all know
is that there is a lot
of bad riff-raff around,
so a possible solution
is to do away
with the riff-raff
and leave the pure people behind
to repopulate the world
and make it a pure land,
sending the riff-raff, elsewhere,
and the thought is
that before that happens,
Maitreya Buddha
will show up,
and just maybe
he can purify the riff-raff,
and then the catastrophe
won't happen,
but I'm not sure
about any of this
but it's a relief
to me.

Great Adventure

So, my great life
around the house
is a great adventure
of waking up
and doing exercises
that are some kind of
amazing, Oriental and New Age
miracle healing things,
(or maybe they're just exercises)
and then
going to my amazing home temple,
(my room)
and performing
my amazing Zen practice
with even some amazing
Christianity, too,
and then it's on
to the great art adventure
where I do
the amazing feats
of painting
and poetry
and dance
and music
and video art
and music composition,
so then
when I get
really tired,
it's off
to the land of dreams,
where the adventure
doesn't end.

My Art Work And How I Got Started On My Current Style

It started
with me and mom
making a little head
of a professor,
and then,
kindergarten
where I learned everything,
and then,
a little class
in drawing,
and then,
doodles, doodles
and more doodles,
and then,
a drip painting
and geometric marker art,
and then,
a long pause,
and then,
I decided to teach myself
better drawing skills,
and then,
I found throw-away canvases
which I painted over,
and then,
I bought canvases,
and then,
I did one big painting
and decided
that I'd rather work small,
and then,
I cut out little pieces of paper
and painted on them,
and then,
I ripped up little pieces of paper
and painted and drew on them,
and that's how it was
and that's how it is.

My Sister And I

So, I remember
my sister and me
sitting outside
on the front porch,
while a thunderstorm
was coming up the street,
and it seems like
when you are kids,
you know each other,
you know who you are,
but when you grow up
after all the stuff
that gets put into you
by life,
that you don't even know
your brother and sister,
anymore,
so my sister and I
have been through
a most scary
and loving trip,
and

 we worry
about each other,
but probably
we should just
not worry
and let ourselves
be free.

Training

My sister has a philosophy,
which I have a little trouble with,
but which I think
I should put into my own words
so that we might feel better,
so people are like animals,
and you know
we do have brains
which are part
reptilian and part mammalian,
and we do
belong to the animal kingdom,
so we train each other
to be good animals
who don't poop
in the house,
so it begins
with childhood
and such things
as toilet training,
and then in school,
it's the same thing,
and religion and work
and in personal relationships
and in all of life,
and the training
is simple
you get an A
for good behavior
and you flunk
for bad behavior.
Simple.

Validation

I have had
many spiritual experiences,
but none of them
have been validated
by someone
who seems to know,
like a Zen Master
or somebody like that,
and since
I can't validate
my own experience,
because I don't know
what enlightenment
actually is,
I'm stuck
with some kind of
wishy-washy understanding
of where I stand,
so, instead of being enlightened,
what I have been
is diagnosed,
which is a kind of
negative validation,
meaning I'm sort of
crazy,
so, I don't know
if I'm crazy or enlightened
and who cares
anyway.

The Cool

The hippies said
when I was freaking out,
don't worry, man,
everything's cool,
so, I believe
that the good,
like good habits,
is bad,
because it forces you
into a trap
that you may not like,
and the bad,
is bad,
because it frees you
into a trap
that you really won't like,
but the cool
is like
a little bad,
a little good,
and a bunch
of in-between,
and cool heads
will prevail,
if we just
let them.

Offense For Defense

I am sort of frightened
in public,
so, a long time ago,
I decided
that a good way
to defend myself
was to put on
a good offense,
you know,
like that football saying,
so, as I was walking around
in public,
I would greet people
with a "Hi"
and try to be pleasant
so they wouldn't beat me up
or something,
but I came to realize
that actually
it was an offensive
kind of speech,
because of my wrong motivation,
so I decided
to just be kind
for no reason,
but then
what I started to see
was that
by being kind,
people seemed to think
that I was hitting on them
or something,
so the girls
seemed to get all moist
and the men
toughened up
because of their homophobia,
but I still practice kindness
for no reason,
and have dropped
my offensive offense.

What's A Name? by Earl Grave

I'm kinda scared of my name.
I changed it when I became
a poet. My old name, which is
the real one, kinda scares
me, too. The computer always
spells it "Christ" or "Christoph"
or "Christophe". That really
bugs me. It's enough ta give ya
a complex or something. So,
my pseudonym was invented
so that I wouldn't be scared.
But, it scares me. I'm sixty one
and I'm not dead, presently,
but I smoke, so, you know what
they say! And, you know, I'm not
a spring chicken anymore!

Intention

John Cage once told me,
"I got to a crossroads,
where I could go in the direction
of the things
that I intended,
or I could go in the direction
of the things
that I didn't intend.
I chose to go
in the direction
of the things
that I didn't intend."
so, after he said that,
I meditated and thought about it
for about forty years,
and have decided
that the things
which I intend
and the things
which I don't intend
come from the same source,
it just seems different,
but there must be
a difference
in the world
and the mind,
because some actions
are seen
as moral issues
which require
personal responsibility,
like killing somebody.

Free Art

I used to play
in a band
called "The Motor City Free Arts Group"
and I thought
that the word Free
meant liberated,
as I still think it does,
but later
in my life,
I decided
that Free
could mean
"No money involved",
so, since I have enough money,
I decided
to do Free Art,
liberated and without buying
or selling,
so I give away
my art,
because I can't sell it
anyway,
and since I think
my art
is a kind of
spiritual thing
for me,
that it shouldn't probably
be sold anyway,

so until I am bankrupt
and need money,
I guess I will keep doing
Free Art,
so here's some
right here.

Why Stupid People Get Famous

I think
some of us know
that ignorant people
sometimes are famous,
and I think
that is because
fools want to be above
other people
so that there
is this illusion
that they are better
than other people,
so stupid people
are very ambitious
and fight and struggle
to get to the top
where they are famous,
leaving a lot of wrecked people
behind
who they have stomped on
to get there,
but wise people
are hard to find
because they don't want
to be above others,
so they are just people
like everybody
in the world.

Why I Did Spiritual Practice Today

So, yesterday,
I did spiritual practice
in the morning,
and then I was wrecked
by sleepiness
all day,
so I woke up today,
wrecked by sleepiness again,
and I thought
that Zen and religion in general
is no good at all
and that I have been screwed
all these years
by thinking that it was something
which would help,
but then
a voice in my head
suggested something
about baseball fans,
and how the good fan
stays with the team
even if they
are in last place
and losing every game,
so I did
my spiritual practice.

Life Never Changes

I just had
an enlightenment experience
today,
which was so subtle
that I didn't realize
that it was
an enlightenment experience,
and I had had it
before,
and this was what it was,
it was that life
is changing at light speed
all the time,
but at the same time
nothing at all
is changing,
there is this thing
called life
which doesn't ever
change at all,
and it is
a kind of nothing
that we all know,
because it is life
and we're it.

Zen Thinking

Zen, these days,
is thought of
as the non-thinking religion,
but I am
a Zen guy
with a beginner's mind,
in other words,
a thinking mind,
and I find
that my thoughts
are the golden guides
which create my life
and are the same
as prayer,
so Buddha taught us
to quieten our minds,
but he also taught us
that our thoughts,
once mastered,
help us more
than anything,
so he talked
about right thinking,
not no thinking,
and I have found
that without the filters
of thoughts, I become
blinded by the burning intensity
of the world.
Thimk!

Dharmas Are Medicine

Dharma is usually defined
as the teaching of the Buddha,
and this teaching
is medicine
which can bring about
a temporary cure
but is neither true nor false,
so a teaching like
The Sickness Is The Health
popped into my head
this morning
and I was cured
for a little while,
but if you cling
to a Dharma,
and repeat it
again and again,
it won't work
and it might make you
sick again,
so we must not forget
the regular understanding
of things like,
The Sickness Is The Sickness
and The Health Is The Health,
or we will overdose
on Dharma medicine,
which can make us
quite sick.