I'm Happy With My Small Penis

I'm happy with my small penis,
but it wasn't always that way,
so I have given up sex
with women,
and men
and dogs,
because they are
kind of hard
to get along with,
so I have married myself,
because I know
what turns me on,
and since
my penis doesn't work well
with women,
and men
and dogs,
I live happily alone,
so I know
many tantric sexual practices
that I can do
with myself,
so my sex life
is most wonderful, now,
but the only thing
that bothers me
about my small penis
is public pissing,
because occasionally
I get looks.